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Samuel L. Jackson Made Me Forget What Title I Wanted to Give This

5 May

This post may ramble and seem disjointed at points, as “The Negotiator” is on HBO right now and Samuel L. Jackson screaming at people is very distracting (in a good way). The cats also will not leave me the fuck alone, and it is hard to concentrate and type when you have two furry, ten-pound sacks screaming (it is meowing, but the repetition makes it sound like screaming) at you and trying to sit on your arms.

It is already May. I have lived in San Diego for over six months. I have done and seen quite a bit out here in that time frame. In that time frame, I have also gotten lazy and chubby. This has been a surprise to me, given that I am living in California, which is essentially Mecca to the healthy and fit. There are insane amounts of in-shape, kale eating, green juice drinking people here. If you want to be healthy in San Diego, it is pretty much as easy as breathing. HOWEVER, if you want to be fat in San Diego, it is easier than breathing. For as healthy and vegan and gluten-free and outdoorsy as everyone and everything is, there are just as many options for donuts and pasta and hawaiian macaroni salad and BURRITOS.

One of the first things I actually noticed about San Diego (and loved) is that there are a wide variety of restaurants and cafes to try and try and try again. I didn’t expect San Diego to have as much of a culinary heart as it does, but it was a pleasant surprise. Less pleasant is the way my clothes fit and the number the scale alleges as fact. I’m not fat by any means – good genes will probably keep me from being fat (in my twenties and thirties at least). I am just less fit and less trim than I usually am.

Everyone has excuses when they gain weight, and I am no better than the rest. I have a Husband who has a healthy appetite and maybe wouldn’t mind if I gained a pound or ten, as he is pleased that I tend to gain below the waist. I have a maniac boss who thinks 8-5 or 8-6 should be normal working hours for a lowly law clerk, and who asks me every Friday if I want to work overtime that weekend. I also have an apartment to clean, dinners to cook, outside hobbies to partake in, and pets to play with. Finding the time to work out has been difficult. Finding the time to eat garbage has not been so difficult.

So, I have decided to try DietBet (for the second time). Essentially, you join a “game” and put money into a pot and bet that you can lose 4% of your body weight in a month. A bunch of other people do the same. If you lose the weight, you and the other winners split the pot. Pretty simple. You can check it out . We shall see how it goes. I have always had an on/off relationship with fitness – sometimes I eat pretty well and work out a ton and get in pretty good shape (again, genetics helps). Other times, I just don’t give a shit. I want mac and cheese and I don’t want to run anywhere. I don’t CARE what other people say about finding work outs that you LOVE and that you do because you enjoy the work out itself and don’t care about the results – that’s GARBAGE. Nobody does a workout because they really love it. They do it because they don’t want to be fat, or don’t want to die of cancer, or like having muscles, or whatever other motivation exists. Working out isn’t fun.

So the game plan – I can’t say I have ever eaten “healthy.” I have eaten less, I have eaten better, but I have never eaten a strictly clean diet. I am also never going to do so. I hate vegetables and no amount of science and discussion of antioxidants is ever going to convince me that I should suck it up and eat a cup of nasty ass broccoli a day. But, I can eat better. Less candy and pastelitos from down the street, and more fruit and fiber products. As for working out, walking, jogging, and even the recommended blogilates videos from the host of the DietBet game seems to be a fair plan. The blogilates chick is annoying, but there’s no workout video person who isn’t annoying. I got really into Crossfit and bootcamp classes last summer at the NYSC in Newark, and I’ve tried a few similar classes out here. Crossfit in Newark was fun, the teachers were cool, and the people in the classes had fun with it. Crossfit out here just consists of people yelling a lot and taking shit way too seriously. Everyone says Californians are laid back, but when it comes to Crossfit, they are mean and the gym class of most people’s nightmares, so pass on that.

Anyway, that’s the latest life development. I also started volunteering at a dog shelter because I think it’s fun to torture myself with puppies with sad eyes that need homes. But I am enjoying it, and if you live in the area and are thinking about adopting a dog, go here: Thankfully, the Husband and I live in an apartment where dogs aren’t allowed, or I would have surely brought one home by now. Or five.

Still working a job that, once a week, makes me go to the bathroom and cry in a stall like a high schooler without a lunch table, but I am working on that, too. Yay for tomorrow being Monday and the torture starting anew. Hope everyone else has a non-shitty Monday 🙂