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Playing Catch Up

22 Oct

This is why I was always hesitant to start a blog, because I knew I would post consistently for a week or two, get bored, forget about it, and then feel stupid about my lack of follow through and come back to posting…Sigh. ADD FTW (FTW = For The Win).

So, there’s a lot to catch up on. Also, this blog has a real reason to exist now since I have actually, finally, moved to San Diego. I have been a San Diego resident for a whole 7 days, or however many days it has been since 10/15/13.

Leaving was hard. My entire family is pretty much an East Coast crew and I have a really great group of friends in the NJ/NY area, as well. Saying goodbye to everyone was hard, but considering I have moved around a bit, I guess one gets used to saying goodbye.

Packing to move was an adventure in and of itself, considering I am a bit of a clothing/shoe/beauty product hoarder. With a little help from Mom, we managed to fit everything that I hadn’t shipped to San Diego into three large (and very heavy) suitcases. As for the cats, I ordered two “airline approved” pet carriers from Petco, and spent a week spraying them with feline pheromone liquid that I got from the vet’s office. When the time came to put them into the carriers, they were actually surprisingly cooperative. It seems that the pheromone stuff worked. If I am spelling pheromone wrong, btw, it is because I am not a scientist AND I am too lazy to get up and read the bottle.

After everything was packed and the kitties were secured, Dad and I got into the car with our cargo and drove off to JFK. The cats were super well behaved in the car – no crying or screaming.


Then came the whole airport process which GREATLY stresses me out already, but add two kitties to the equation and it becomes infinitely more stressful. First, I did curbside check in and my curbside check in guy was grouchy as f*ck. He was all “oh your bags are overweight and you have to PAY.” And I wanted to be like, no sh*t dumdum, do you not see the debit card in my hand. Instead, I smiled. Sigh.

Then came going through security. One of the TSA officers informed me I would have to take both cats out of their carriers and walk through the crazy metal/bomb/shank/nuclear device detector with them. I asked to speak to his supervisor so I could get a private room where the cats could hang while they ran their bags through security. And it went on like this – back and forth trying to speak to a supervisor for a good 15 minutes and to make a long story short, I got a private room, but also got an invasive pat down and some pissed off looks from TSA officers.

After all this, the cats and I got Jamba Juice, where I proceeded to take some of the anti-anxiety meds prescribed to the cats (they are actually meant for people, but cats can take them, too). Everything else was just fine – getting on the plane, take off, the flight, and landing. The guy met me at the airport with flowers and all was well.

I have been here almost a week and my week has mostly consisted of organizing, unpacking, and buying odds and ends. We don’t have a lot of furniture yet, so things are kind of in a disarray, but I have managed to put SOME things together so far:



We also had cable and internet put in (FYI: Cox is not an awesome cable company. And as I write this, my internet just dropped. Fail Cox, fail) and purchased a new TV from Walmart – $248 for 42 inches, not terrible. The guy and I got library cards on Saturday because I am a nerd. This week I am focused on getting furniture and going to the DMV to handle all that official business.

San Diego is beautiful – the weather is PERFECT (legit, not an exaggeration). First real complaint though? You can’t order food here like you can in the NJ/NY area. GrubHub informs me that there are exactly ZERO Chinese food places that deliver to my address. Granted, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t any Chinese restaurants but if you use GrubHub or Seamless or back in NJ or NYC, it is Chinese food for DAYSSSSSSS. Yes, I can order Thai food or Sushi here, but F that noise. I don’t want your fancy chicken satay or $15 sushi rolls – I want sesame chicken with greasy fried rice. On top of the fact that it is hard to find Chinese food that delivers around here, the charges for delivery here are RIDICULOUS, as are the minimum dollar amounts required for delivery. I tried to order some chicken teriyaki with sushi last night, and my delivery minimum was $20 AND the fee for delivery ended up being almost $9.00 because the restaurant charged a flat $5.95 delivery fee PLUS 15% of my total order amount. No SAN DIEGO, NO. Go home, you’re drunk.

That is all for complaints. On the positive side, I am going to have some serious Tina Turner legs soon given that we live on top of a series of hills that look like this:


Dying every time I walk home.

That’s it for now…..


Moby Dick is the Worst

24 Sep

This blog’s overarching theme is moving from NJ to Cali and the transition from East Coast to West and all about new beginnings and blah, blah, blah. BUT, I can’t always be contained or held to a specific genre or topic and sometimes will deviate. Duh.

So, in the pursuit of this move, I am trying to scrape up money wherever I can. G, who is basically my brother (long story short, my parents ghetto adopted him and he has lived with us for almost 3 years now and even though he looks like a big Hawaiian ukelele player, and I’m a tiny white girl, we are family), asked me to help him with his English class this semester in exchange for dollars. Since I can’t say no to dollars right now, I accepted. His English class is centered around “Moby Dick.” That’s it. All they have to read for this class is “Moby Dick” and write several essays on the topic.

I won’t comment on the fact that reading only one book for a college-level English course is kind of ridiculous (unless it’s a Canterbury Tales type deal). I also won’t comment on the fact that I’ve read over the syllabus and I already dislike the professor and his general premise that “Moby Dick” is about Ishmael’s search for his soul (disagree).

I WILL comment on the fact that I have started reading (again) “Moby Dick” so I can help G out and I now remember why I wanted to set that book (and maybe my English teacher who assigned it) on fire in high school. I know it is considered a literary classic and all that fancy-type praise, but Herman Melville, I hate you.

This book goes on FOREVER and devotes SO many pages to the description of the whaling industry and the taxonomy of white whales. I could give a shit about the whaling industry and don’t need to understand it to understand the book. Herman, you could have just said, “People hunt whales for their blubber a lot and are really mean about it and are kind of wiping them out.” You could have also said, “White whales are white, and big, and live in the ocean, and pretty much look like a whale,” and that would have sufficed, too. But you chose to write things like, “…the frosty Swiss [the whales] have retreated to their mountains; so, hunted from the savannas and glades of the middle seas, the whale-bone whales can at last resort to their Polar citadels, and diving under the ultimate glassy barriers and walls there, come up along icy fields and floes; and in a charmed circle of everlasting December, bid defiance to all pursuit from man.” And that’s just a short excerpt. He goes on FOREVER about the whales. This is literature, not a zoology class. Stop it. Whales get killed a lot by people and it is sad (insert dead whale imagery here).

I guess I can understand why people are like “OoOoOo such great writing” because it is good stuff (when he actually writes about what matters). But taken as a whole? I hate this book. It makes my eyes burn and my heart feel an unbounded fury for a bearded dead man.

End Side Note. (I feel like I never got to rant about this properly when I had to read it, and I probably have more to say, but this shall suffice).

As for the whole moving thing, my UBox should be picked up today or tomorrow and be on its official way to San Diego. I now have like 10 outfits to get me through 3 weeks. How awful. Doing laundry once a week is for the birds.

Quickie Post

22 Sep

These are Jell-O Dirt Cups and they are amazing.  And there’s Oreo bits in them. And flower sprinkles. Everybody should buy them. I am not paid to endorse Jell-O, I am just very passionate about novelty food items. You can find these by the cheese (or thereabouts) at the grocery store. You’re welcome.


As for the whole moving thing, that UBox should be packed up and ready to go tomorrow. Then it will take the 12 day journey to San Diego where Sam and whoever is unlucky enough to agree to help him will move all of the stuff out of it into the new apartment, I told Sam we could wait to unload it until I got there, but I didn’t mean it. I don’t want to move anything anymore. I’m tired of moving (for the time being….that’ll change).

Only 2 weeks left at my job and only about 3 weeks until I leave New Jersey, so weird. Also, I should move far away from friends and family more often because everyone is taking me out to eat and paying. My friends are the best.

I’m The Batman of Moving

16 Sep

I am not sure how moving a whole lot has anything to do with being Batman, or how one can be the “Batman” of moving, but I am watching “The Dark Knight Rises” right now and I moved more crap today, so I feel like it is appropriate to be a Batman of moving.

I finally decided on a mode of transportation for this whole move deal. First, it will be travel by air for me and the kitties via the JETPAWS program. To break it down for you, the JETPAWS program is JetBlue’s “We Fly Pets Program” and from what I can tell, it isn’t really a program, but just me exchanging American dollars for permission to bring my cats on the plane. I specifically asked the lady on the phone when I was booking the flight if there were any perks for me or the cats and she was very blunt, and maybe a little incredulous, with her “um no.” I just don’t think you should give something a name, especially a name as cute as JETPAWS, and call it a program if there isn’t more to it.


Anyway, if anybody ever needed to bring their pet on a plane, the way it works is: (1) call JetBlue and say “Hey I need to bring my animal who isn’t vicious or rabid on the plane; (2) JetBlue tells you there is or isn’t room, and then charges you $100 for your pet; (3) book an EXTRA seat and pay an extra $100 because you have not one, but two, kitties; (planning ahead) (4) Go to the vet and obtain strong sedatives for cats; (5) go to the airport and check in and have the counter people look at your cats, because apparently that’s a thing; (6) go through security and take your heavily drugged cats out of their carriers so security can make sure you aren’t carrying a bomb (like I would seriously blow up my cats, jerkoffs); (7) buy Jamba Juice because you’re alive so duh; (8) Get on the plane and pray that cat drugs last for lots of hours or else you’re going to be subjected to crying and the smell of cat piss at some point during your flight.

As for the load of crap I have, that is going via UHaul’s UBOX program which is essentially you load all your crap into this wooden box shaped like a storage unit and then when you’re ready, a big tractor trailer comes and picks it up and brings it to California. This option was about $1550 when all was said and done, and while that’s a crap ton of money that I don’t have, it was the best option in terms of price, amount of labor required, and ultimate control over my things. I had been paranoid that if I hired movers, they would toss my boxes around and break everything, because writing ‘Fragile’ all over your boxes means NOTHING to anyone. Dad and I spent the entire morning, and by morning, I mean from like 11-2:30 because it’s Sunday and I don’t wake up for anyone, moving my stuff from Public Storage into the UBOX.

image_1 image_2 image_3 image_4That is a UBOX and if you don’t have a ton of stuff, it is actually pretty decent and very easy. You can either have them drop it off at your house and you can load from home, and have them pick it up whenever (extra $200) OR you can just load the box at their storage facility and have them pick it up for shipping whenever (no charge). I mostly just have DVDs, kitchen crap, and clothes, so one box was more than enough.

Oh and I mentioned it was $1550 for all of this right? And my flight, after paying for TWO seats like an obese person and two pet fees, was $595? I was mildly stressing these things, as I am poor, and I didn’t want to keep asking Navy guy to give me all his dollars. And then, Dad and I went to Mt. Airy Casino on Saturday and either the Beach Boys (if any of them are dead) or Jesus or the spirit of pre-medicated Britney felt the stress vibes I was sending into the universe and sent me this:

image_5We walked into the casino, I sat down at this machine because it played music and the seat vibrated funny, pressed the “spin” button three times, and it was like 80,000 CREDITS!!!! And the idiot in me who doesn’t understand math was like I JUST WON 8,000 DOLLARS! And then it printed out $800 and that was OK too. Another $200 at the blackjack table and most of the UBOX is paid for and I feel like the universe is understanding my needs (come next post and I will talk about how I get my messages out to the universe).

So, my UBOX is mostly full, except for the mass quantity of clothes and shoes I have here and some random odds and ends. I am kind of beat, not to mention BATTERED:

image (2)

But not as beat as this guy:













So now I am going to sit and whine about my scratched arm, while my Dad sleeps, until I realize nobody is listening, and then I will go upstairs and eat chips while I sort through my clothes.

Have a lovely Sunday everybody. Only 30 more days until I leave…..