I’m The Batman of Moving

16 Sep

I am not sure how moving a whole lot has anything to do with being Batman, or how one can be the “Batman” of moving, but I am watching “The Dark Knight Rises” right now and I moved more crap today, so I feel like it is appropriate to be a Batman of moving.

I finally decided on a mode of transportation for this whole move deal. First, it will be travel by air for me and the kitties via the JETPAWS program. To break it down for you, the JETPAWS program is JetBlue’s “We Fly Pets Program” and from what I can tell, it isn’t really a program, but just me exchanging American dollars for permission to bring my cats on the plane. I specifically asked the lady on the phone when I was booking the flight if there were any perks for me or the cats and she was very blunt, and maybe a little incredulous, with her “um no.” I just don’t think you should give something a name, especially a name as cute as JETPAWS, and call it a program if there isn’t more to it.


Anyway, if anybody ever needed to bring their pet on a plane, the way it works is: (1) call JetBlue and say “Hey I need to bring my animal who isn’t vicious or rabid on the plane; (2) JetBlue tells you there is or isn’t room, and then charges you $100 for your pet; (3) book an EXTRA seat and pay an extra $100 because you have not one, but two, kitties; (planning ahead) (4) Go to the vet and obtain strong sedatives for cats; (5) go to the airport and check in and have the counter people look at your cats, because apparently that’s a thing; (6) go through security and take your heavily drugged cats out of their carriers so security can make sure you aren’t carrying a bomb (like I would seriously blow up my cats, jerkoffs); (7) buy Jamba Juice because you’re alive so duh; (8) Get on the plane and pray that cat drugs last for lots of hours or else you’re going to be subjected to crying and the smell of cat piss at some point during your flight.

As for the load of crap I have, that is going via UHaul’s UBOX program which is essentially you load all your crap into this wooden box shaped like a storage unit and then when you’re ready, a big tractor trailer comes and picks it up and brings it to California. This option was about $1550 when all was said and done, and while that’s a crap ton of money that I don’t have, it was the best option in terms of price, amount of labor required, and ultimate control over my things. I had been paranoid that if I hired movers, they would toss my boxes around and break everything, because writing ‘Fragile’ all over your boxes means NOTHING to anyone. Dad and I spent the entire morning, and by morning, I mean from like 11-2:30 because it’s Sunday and I don’t wake up for anyone, moving my stuff from Public Storage into the UBOX.

image_1 image_2 image_3 image_4That is a UBOX and if you don’t have a ton of stuff, it is actually pretty decent and very easy. You can either have them drop it off at your house and you can load from home, and have them pick it up whenever (extra $200) OR you can just load the box at their storage facility and have them pick it up for shipping whenever (no charge). I mostly just have DVDs, kitchen crap, and clothes, so one box was more than enough.

Oh and I mentioned it was $1550 for all of this right? And my flight, after paying for TWO seats like an obese person and two pet fees, was $595? I was mildly stressing these things, as I am poor, and I didn’t want to keep asking Navy guy to give me all his dollars. And then, Dad and I went to Mt. Airy Casino on Saturday and either the Beach Boys (if any of them are dead) or Jesus or the spirit of pre-medicated Britney felt the stress vibes I was sending into the universe and sent me this:

image_5We walked into the casino, I sat down at this machine because it played music and the seat vibrated funny, pressed the “spin” button three times, and it was like 80,000 CREDITS!!!! And the idiot in me who doesn’t understand math was like I JUST WON 8,000 DOLLARS! And then it printed out $800 and that was OK too. Another $200 at the blackjack table and most of the UBOX is paid for and I feel like the universe is understanding my needs (come next post and I will talk about how I get my messages out to the universe).

So, my UBOX is mostly full, except for the mass quantity of clothes and shoes I have here and some random odds and ends. I am kind of beat, not to mention BATTERED:

image (2)

But not as beat as this guy:













So now I am going to sit and whine about my scratched arm, while my Dad sleeps, until I realize nobody is listening, and then I will go upstairs and eat chips while I sort through my clothes.

Have a lovely Sunday everybody. Only 30 more days until I leave…..


2 Responses to “I’m The Batman of Moving”

  1. Toni September 18, 2013 at 9:59 am #

    Lol, just a thought, did you google for ubox coupons? Might be able to help save a few extra dollars.

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